So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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