well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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