apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
