One girl and one boy is just not enough.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
