So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
