all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
