im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
