fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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