Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
