I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
is it fun? or sober?
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