Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
