Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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