one two three fourrrrnication!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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