Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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