Screwed.edu
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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