I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
