forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
