Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
