I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You are a genius and a whore.
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