so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
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