I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
