Three words: puerto rican gang bang
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
