I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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