I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
