we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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