I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We left the knife in your bed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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