Just cropdusted the office
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
