ya dads aren't the best wingmen
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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