a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
