I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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