your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
