Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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