the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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