don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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