Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize