Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
