i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
