Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
