Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
