I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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