A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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