dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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