he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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