Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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