he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
