The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
