Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
