apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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