If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Four minutes until I can fart!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
