Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
