he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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