so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
