He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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