Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
