Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
