I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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