so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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