there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
