mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize