he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
NoShamevember. You game?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
