he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
